An opiate addict is never alone in their struggle with their addiction. They bring everyone they know into the center of the hell that they are experiencing. They are part of someone else’s life and whether we like it or not we too must take the heart ache with them.
It is a real heart ache when you see her doing things that just are beyond your control. The addict tries to convince you that they are not really involved in the battle of the drug war. You can see the changes that she is going through and when you question them, She tries to laugh it off and say things like, are you kidding me, I would never do that. You want so bad to believe her. It hurts so much as you see her struggling within herself. And the trouble has just begun.
She begins to be undependable and less than honest with you. She will make up stories about things that do not even make sense. They most often start to steal from those around them to support the habit that they are so deeply involved in. The lies come so easily to them because they need to convince you that they are in control of their destiny. The need for the drug is so great, that they do not even give it a second thought as the next chapter is opening up. Their habit is costing so much more than just money, it is now threatening their life. The addict now can no longer work or function as a responsible person. The need for the drugs causes more deception and leads to unlawful activities. She seems to be at a place where maybe you can talk her into getting help.
It is now time to confront her again and this time you convince her to seek help at any cost. During the struggle to get clean she will sometimes lead you to believe she is on the right track when in fact she has fallen again. You pick up the pieces and try again.
This time it looks like she may make it and everyone is so hopeful. Things go along nice for a few months. The addict goes through some horrible sick times and withdraws from everyone for a short time, but does come out of it and it seems the road to recovery is within reach. We are all so happy to see her come out of it. But this is not the end of this situation.
Struggling to keep her on track is becoming easier as she seems to be relating to those around her. On a daily basis getting her back and forth to the clinic that is almost 40 miles one way from her home is a real challenge, but with everyone pulling together it is happening.
We are all so happy and Christmas is upon us now and we are looking forward to having a wonderful Christmas with the family and her being part of all of it. She makes a trip to California to see her lawyer and some friends. She is due home on Christmas eve.
It is 10:30 pm on Christmas eve and I get the call. My beautiful grand daughter is brain dead from an overdose. Her father and I go to her bed side. The doctors have run all the tests and confirm that she is only being kept alive on life support. After all her friends (They had so many young people in the waiting room, we had to limit the visits to 5 minutes to get them all in.) and family have said their good byes and we send her off with prayers and so many, many tears. On the 28th of December, The doctor comes in and pulls the plug, I stand there and watch her take her last breath. The emotional heartache was too much to bear. I will never get past this and my son lost his only child. He will never be the same.
We are all so very involved when our loved ones become addicts. I pray God will help others help so they need not face the ending that we have had to go through.
A very sad grandmother